Positive thinking and Attitude

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Hey all! Been a while since i wrote something. Today just want to talk about positive thinking. What does this really mean? If we think positive do we get anything in return? How do we know.

So first off let me shed some light on this. This is only my own experience and you be the judge of it. (Please note that during my childhood I never knew anything about this.)

During my childhood I always loved to play console games. My neighbor had a NES (Nintendo Entertainment System) and I always thought how awesome it will be to have one. When i did school work I always thought about games I played and if I died in a place how I can try something different etc. After two years my grand mother told me “I have collected some money and I want to buy it for you.” I was like “WHAT?” and was happy.

Then I wanted a computer badly and was thinking “if I had one how it would be”. So during my O/L’s my dad said I need to get through the exam and he shall see. So my goal had a sub goal to getting through O/L’s. i got through it and I got the computer.

About my dream girl. I always had a thought how my dream girl would be. Like me crazy and weird at times. Wanted someone happy and understanding. I know in Sri Lanka what type of women are there and I thought the one I dreamed existed. I had bad times asking girl out and getting rejected. My idea was strong and I kept thinking to my self seeing the couples on the roads “If that guy can get a girl like that why can’t I” I always thought in the end I will find someone who I can spend the rest of my life with. I had been thinking for it from 22 onwards. When I was 29 I found her. I had no reason to be someone else. I can be myself and she accepted me for who I am. She had studied in Russia so she is not like the typical women we see in Sri lanka. She also had the same thought of finding the right guy because she had issues with her love life too. (So ofc I married her :P)

Next was my carrier. When I had finished my school and started to go to the University I always thought again ”I will work in a good organization” and to make it short I am currently employed at Intel EM, Sri Lanka.

So my words of wisdom to you is never give up hope when everyone is against you. If you fail learn from the mistakes and be ready to accept your mistakes. Learn from them and build a better mental state. Never give up fast. Try and think positive. This doesn’t mean it happens quickly like “I have been thinking about this for a week but no results” If you actually look at what happened to you during the week you might actually find small things that had build up to make a pathway to where you need to go.

Good example I read was about two guys going to an interview.

First guy was very negative. He was thinking “WHAT IF….” and always lacked positive attitude. So in the end he woke up late, went for the interview with crumpled shirt for the electricity was out and looked like a mess. Had no idea what he was answering and showed nervousness, This lead him to not get the job.

To this same interview the positive guy was thinking “I will…”and always thought what it would be like to work in that company. Things about how he can impress the boss. This lead him to go to their website to understand the organization. He had ironed the shirts and trousers that night and kept the alarm on the clock. Next day woke a few minutes earlier than the alarm. Had lots time to go for the interview. During the interview he showed a positive attitude and got the job.

So always be positive and visualize what you want the out come to be. The saying I always go with “Aim for the stars and you might hit a coconut tree”.

Share your similar stories as well. 🙂

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A friendly quote

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Once on an email I received, I found this quote on it. “Don’t waste time on friends who don’t waste time on you”. If you had followed my blog “How my friendship works” I would always, I mean ALWAYS help a friend. As I wrote in it, it is hard to be an awesome friend and you need to make sacrifices.
I help someone not to gain anything from it, but just pure happiness by the mere idea of helping someone. Most of the times I end up getting really hurt because after all what i did to help a friend they just go their way. After I got that email I just started thinking straight and I finally figured it out.
As in my other post about “Why doesn’t my boyfriend understand me” I mentioned

Like in Buddhism we learn Dukata hethuwa and duka nathikireemae margaya (the reason to be sad and the path we need to take to resolve this sadness).

So I found out why I become sad and I found the answer. Once a friend who is in trouble is helped,  they move along. The place where I made the mistake was to still tag along with them and ask them if they needed more help etc.

How a friend can be a pain in the a**.
Well how does a friend become a pain. Let me tell you with full experience. When you are in trouble and you need a friend, you’d call him/her and tell your problems. So then the friend takes it to the heart and starts helping out. Once the helping starts sometimes it doesn’t stop with just only that issue. She/he would have mentioned other problems and the friend would ask if those were solved as well. Then comes the main part. This is where everything goes wrong. If the friend in need was a girl and the helper was a guy, she’d get the wrong idea that this dude is up to no good and vise versa. Then it comes to a stage where the friend asking to help starts to be nagging. It’s actually not nagging, it’s just that the helped friend takes it for granted and thinks its a pain.

So now my ground policy is I will be there for a friend until she/he needs me and then once it’s resolved I will just move along. I will tell them, “If you need me am always there for you”. it’s up to them to receive the friendship.

hmm this seems small… but I hope I got through to people. ^_^

ttyl all.

Vegetarian..

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Hmmmmm…. after so long and much fuss I turned into a vegetarian… Yea… I know it looks hard.. but very easy.. If you are a meat lover please don’t read this cos you might change the way you see meat and become a vegetable like myself.

Why the change?
Well the change is because it’s just I wanna change a bit and see. I did a full body checkup recently and everything was border line. I mean cholesterol, blood sugar, etc. So I was thinking how can I change my way of eating? I loved KFC, pizza hut, Bros-ters etc. When i normally get the salary as a treat I go and have something. During weeks I eat bacon and egg pastries, fish and egg pastries etc.

Why did I stop meat completely.
To change myself not to indulge in these fine cuisines I don’t have the will power to stop only eating from these places. So how can I make this happen. I need to change. So therefore i came up with the idea that am going to be a vegetarian.

Motivation to stop meat.
The change came to me slowly. My mom told me stop eating beef. She told never eat it and she stopped buying beef to the house. So when ever I went out. I didn’t touch beef.

Now I needed to stop chicken because that’s the main thing I love eating. So slowly I began to open my eyes and look into things. What do we eat saying it’s chicken? A chicken of course. Have you had a closer look @ a dead chicken? I mean. It was once living, it was breathing and taking dumps. Now it’s dead. Have you seen your mom make chicken? She takes the knife and chop, slice. cleans the gizzard and liver. You know we also have a liver and stuff. We eat this off another animal? It’s grotesque. I feel really sad to think people will actually butcher animals for eating.

You know how they kill cows? they slice the bottom part of the throat of the cow and they drain the blood. Pigs are killed with poles. They hit the pig. dash it on the ground and kill them. Just imagine what would be running through their minds? They feel death. no one wants to die.

So you think by you becoming a vegetarian people will stop the slaughter of animals?
Well, to start something like that we got to start somewhere. I know for a fact I cannot go to the slaughter house and tell them stop killing animals. I cannot go tell other people stop eating meat. It’s stupid. So we have to start small and somewhere. So that small and somewhere person is me.

For more info on this please check my blog on – “How to change myself”.

People are bound to ask me. OMFG you are a vegetarian now? how did you do it? etc. Then those people will learn to start been vegies. Then what happens the need for chicken dies down and slaughter houses will go @ a loss. I know this is a long term thing however I needed to start it now or it will never begin.

I want to thank all my vegie friends for giving me support and courage. So my last line is “Be a man, do the right thing” like what russel peters said. 😛

TTyl ppl

The way my friendship works

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Well… hmmm after thinking for sometime i figured out why I should let anyone know how my friendship works.. : )))).. It’s the way I have been for the past few years (7+) helping friends etc..

Well first off I make friends… I am an easy going person and understand people to a certain extent. I put myself in the shoe of my friends and understand what they feel and what they go through. Sometimes I won’t understand cos it get’s complicated. So then i just let it be.

So how does my friendship work? first will check why I want to be your friend?
      well why the hell would i want to be your friend? good question, because you may not have a good friend you can rely on etc. I have come to know that this world is very scary. I have good friends I can relate to so I know the value of a good friendship. But unlike me and my other friends some of the people in this cruel world don’t have good friends to rely on. Some take advantages out of friendships and strands them on a ledge of no return. There are people who will take all the information given by you to blackmail you. So it got me thinking maybe I can help people and help them out. So I started the quest of friendship and love. ^^

      How do you know if a person is worth helping? from my PoV basically I take a big risk. I put myself in front and become friends. Takes me about 15 – 20 mins to get to know a person roughly to see if she/he is worth my friendship. :)). Then i will do the occasional “Hii, Good morning, what you up to?”. So from there onwards it’s how you get to know the person.

     Being a true friend requires a lot of hard work. There are loads of sacrifices you might need to make.

The first rule I live by when making friends. Never cross the line between friendship and relationship. Think clear, is she the one you love or does she love you as much as you do? The main point is, it’s useless falling in love with someone who isn’t in love with you. So since you love this person and he/she doesn’t return it back, just be her friend.

Next you should know how much your friend can handle. e.g. Once you start to get to know a person, you should get an understanding of how much friendship they need to survive. Few of my friends needs to be assured that they need to be fine and the day will be good. Asking them if everything is ok? etc. Some friends are very strong @ heart. Relationships that have messed up have made them strong and they can handle almost anything on their own. These friends will only need to be assured that you will be there for them when they need someone to talk. Also these are the most hardest to make friends.

   So I make friends then check if they really need a good friend, if they do am there for them… that’s all.

   Boundaries of my friendship. When you are friends, you have boundaries that will limit your friendship towards a person.

Normal friendship
      This is the normal kind of friendship anyone wants. The person you are friends with has no gf/bf. No complications. So am there for them when ever they need to get on a day to day basis. After they start going out, I leave their side but assure them I am there when they need a friend.

Advisory friendship
      This is the kind of friendship a girl/guy needs when they are going to go out and not sure or they are confused with what’s the right thing to do? I ask them what they want to do, If they give me choices I would ask what do you think and give advice around it. If they say “I don’t know? :(” then I tell them to take their time and think it over and come back with some ideas. basically am just a friend to give advice I don’t tell them what to do. It’s the choices they make.

Anyways my policy is if a person already has a friend she/he can rely on I just silence down slowly and disappear because too many cooks may spoil a soup. LOL.

me off…

Funny people

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     Well, it’s strange how fellow Sri Lankans joke and pun about others but they get highly offended when you joke about them. They start to retaliate and get angry.

     When i was schooling at college all my friends used to laugh and taunt me about me been a Chinese. I mean I was born in Sri Lanka and I did Sinhala medium @ college. Sometimes I was really hurt cried sometimes too. Yea, very sad situation. Only some friends were really cool. They respect each other. Anyways after sometime I began to think. “People are so funny, they make jokes about me, but when i make a joke about them, they get offended.”. So I finally gave it up and now I just really don’t care.

      You become my friend. If you don’t like me. don’t talk to me. LOL. I cannot simply not joke about people when they joke about me. My jokes are normally lame and not offensive. Most people in Sri Lanka don’t think much. Now after reading this post start scolding me about what i said and tell that Sri Lankas are very understanding and broad minded. 😛

     Well anyways this is my PoV. The way I see things as an alien. he he he. Anyways if you make fun of me be prepared to be the butt of jokes. If you don’t like my style just ignore me. :P. I have told my friends and all of them know me well. I won’t change because I offended one when all others love me. 🙂

    This goes to all the people who talk behind my back saying am joking about them which is not right. LOL.

Take care

About the posts I make on MY blog

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Please note that all posts made by me are my personal views and some maybe highly offensive. So

  1. If you are obsessive or compulsive please stay away from my posts and refrain from arguing.
  2. If you are codependent, please ask someone to read the posts or comment for you.
  3. If you have multiple personalities please do not log in as different users and comment in different views.
  4. If you are schizophrenic, please wait for a sec for the small voice to tell you what kind of a comment to put.
  5. If you are depressive it doesn’t matter what your comments are about I will not reply to them.
  6. If you have short term memory loss please refresh the post and start reading again.
  7. If you have low self esteem please do not even try to comment as no one will comment on it.

If you cannot understand any of the above I highly recommend you leave my posts alone. LOL

How to change yourself?

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Helped me lean about life, living, friendship, loving etc. learned a lot from reading articles. I have been changing myself to be a better person each day. How can this be done you say? Let me share how I do it. I will be writing small posts or long ones depending on what I feel. I may start the topic “Friends” but end up writing about “What are the benefits of eating veggies?”.

So how I try and change myself. Fist of all let’s see why I want to change myself? let’s answer this question.

I was thinking the world should be a better place to live if these these things were there. Maybe something like “If we have more trees, it would have been cooler.” etc. but how can I do that… that’s really silly. One day my dad came up to me and said, “Let me tell you a story”

How life changed for “it”.

Once there was this man who was walking on the beach. That day the tide was high and loads of starfish were washed ashore. Along the beach, as this man walked he saw another man throwing something to the ocean. This dude went closer to that man. “WTF is he doing?” thought the man. As this man got closer he found out that the other person was picking up the starfish and throwing it back to the sea.

Stranger: Hi
Starfish thrower: Hey
Stranger: what you up to?
Starfish thrower: Well am just throwing these starfish back into the ocean.
Stranger: Will it make a difference? I mean, look at all these starfish, you cannot possibly throw them all into the ocean?
Starfish thrower:*picks up a starfish and throws it back into the ocean and looks @ the stranger* “Well, it did chance it’s life”.

This was a story my dad told me years ago and then i saw this same story in “Chicken Soup for the soul”.

We always think big and try to do many things, but remember to do something big we need to start small. Where do we start small? well it’s up to us.

So why do I want to change myself? because people, by looking at me will try and change themselves. When they change themselves other people will follow and will change.

So now the next question how I change myself? well it’s very hard and you need strong will power.

**$$Please note that everything written here is what I DO, am not telling YOU to be like me. This is what I practice. Remember a human is different in their own way, culture also depends, so if you are going to comment please remember to respect my ideas.$$**

So where were we… oh yea.. lol… How I change myself? I use new year resolutions. Yea, you heard me correct. So how do I do it? simple. I make a new year resolution to myself and I keep it for that year. If I can get it through that year, it means I can do that for the next year. So all my new year resolutions stack up.. lol..

Some of the new year resolutions I still keep.

This year was: Eat less meat and more veggies. Try and walk more.
Some of my old ones: Don’t smoke. Respect everyone for who they are and not what they say. most of the others are personal. 😛

This is by far the main way I change myself for the better.