A.I.D.S.

Leave a comment

A son once calls his mother and says “MOM I got A.I.D.S.”. She was silent for a moment and said “Son it’s good if you do not come back”. The son who was shocked to hear this asked “Why Not?”

To which after another moment the mother replied. “Well, if you come here your wife will get it, then from her to your brother, from him to the servant in the house, then from her to your father, from him to my sister and from her to her husband, from him to your Sister… and by then OMG… if your sister got it, it will be as if the whole town got it. So please my loving child never come back”

Advertisements

Losing virginity

1 Comment

One fine sunday in the porch was a father reading a newspaper. His daughter came up to him and asked.

Daughter: Dad. @ what age did you lose your virginity?
Shocked and embarrased dad said: errr… 22?
Daughter: Beat ya. I lost it when I was 13

The father fainted.

Who’s the best

2 Comments

Four friends, who hadn’t seen each other in 30 years, reunited at a
party. After several drinks, one of the men had to use the rest room. Those who remained talked about their kids.

The first guy said, ‘My son is my pride and joy.He started working at successful company at the bottom of the barrel. He studied Economics and Business Administration and soon began to climb the corporate ladder and now he’s the president of the company. He became so rich that he gave his best friend a top of the line  Mercedes for his birthday.’

The second guy said, ‘Darn, that’s terrific! My son is also my pride and joy. He started working for a big airline, then went to flight school to become a pilot. Eventually he became a partner in the company, where he owns the majority of its assets He’s so rich that he gave his best friend a brand new jet for his birthday.’

The third man said: ‘Well, that’s terrific! My son studied in the best
universities and became an engineer. Then he started his own
construction company and is now a multimillionaire.. He also gave away something very nice and expensive to his best friend for his birthday: A 30,000 square foot mansion.’

The three friends congratulated each other just as the fourth returned from the restroom and asked: ‘What are all the congratulations for?’ One of the three said: ‘We were talking about the pride we feel for the successes of our sons. What about your son?’ The fourth man replied: ‘My son is gay and makes a living dancing as a stripper at a nightclub.’ The three friends
said: ‘What a shame… what a disappointment.’

The fourth man replied: ‘No, I’m not ashamed. He’s my son and I love him. And he hasn’t done too bad either. His birthday was two weeks ago, and he received a beautiful 30,000 square foot mansion, a brand new jet and a top of the line Mercedes from his three boyfriends.’

The blind man

1 Comment

A blind man walks into a restaurant and sits down. The waiter, who is also the owner, walks up to the blind man and hands him a menu.
“I’m sorry sir, but I am blind and can’t read the menu. Just bring me a dirty fork from the previous customer, I’ll smell it and order from there.”
A little confused, the owner walks over to the dirty dish pile and picks up a greasy fork. He returns to the blind man’s table and hands it to him. The blind man puts the fork to his nose and takes in a deep breath.
“Ah, yes that’s what I’ll have, meatloaf and mashed potatoes.”
Unbelievable, the owner says to himself as he walks towards the kitchen. The cook who happens to be the owner’s wife and he tells her what had just happened. The blind man eats his meal and leaves.
Several days later the blind man returns and the owner mistakenly brings him a menu again.
“Sir, remember me? I’m the blind man.”
“I’m sorry, I didn’t recognize you. I’ll go get you a dirty fork.” The owner again retrieves a dirty fork and brings it to the blind man. After another deep breath, the blind man says,
“That smells great, I’ll take the Macaroni and cheese with broccoli.
Once again walking away in disbelief, the owner thinks maybe the blind man is screwing around with him and tells his wife that the next time the blind man comes in he’s going to test him. The blind man eats and leaves.
He returns the following week, but this time the owner sees him coming and runs to the kitchen. He tells his wife, “Mary rub this fork around your crotch before I take it to the blind man.” Mary complies and hands her husband the fork back.
As the blind man walks in and sits down, the owner is ready and waiting. “Good afternoon sir, this time I remembered you and I already have the fork ready for you.”
The blind man puts the fork to his nose, takes a deep whiff and says, “Hey, I didn’t know Mary worked here”