Once on an email I received, I found this quote on it. “Don’t waste time on friends who don’t waste time on you”. If you had followed my blog “How my friendship works” I would always, I mean ALWAYS help a friend. As I wrote in it, it is hard to be an awesome friend and you need to make sacrifices.
I help someone not to gain anything from it, but just pure happiness by the mere idea of helping someone. Most of the times I end up getting really hurt because after all what i did to help a friend they just go their way. After I got that email I just started thinking straight and I finally figured it out.
As in my other post about “Why doesn’t my boyfriend understand me” I mentioned

Like in Buddhism we learn Dukata hethuwa and duka nathikireemae margaya (the reason to be sad and the path we need to take to resolve this sadness).

So I found out why I become sad and I found the answer. Once a friend who is in trouble is helped,  they move along. The place where I made the mistake was to still tag along with them and ask them if they needed more help etc.

How a friend can be a pain in the a**.
Well how does a friend become a pain. Let me tell you with full experience. When you are in trouble and you need a friend, you’d call him/her and tell your problems. So then the friend takes it to the heart and starts helping out. Once the helping starts sometimes it doesn’t stop with just only that issue. She/he would have mentioned other problems and the friend would ask if those were solved as well. Then comes the main part. This is where everything goes wrong. If the friend in need was a girl and the helper was a guy, she’d get the wrong idea that this dude is up to no good and vise versa. Then it comes to a stage where the friend asking to help starts to be nagging. It’s actually not nagging, it’s just that the helped friend takes it for granted and thinks its a pain.

So now my ground policy is I will be there for a friend until she/he needs me and then once it’s resolved I will just move along. I will tell them, “If you need me am always there for you”. it’s up to them to receive the friendship.

hmm this seems small… but I hope I got through to people. ^_^

ttyl all.

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